Your fears are all valid and I can relate. I have serious issues with being “me” on the page and fully committing to that. I’ve found that when I do, it’s usually with the notion that no one who knows me in real life will read it.
Having an audience is a doubled edged sword. I’m still not convinced Substack is the answer to…anything.
I’m often torn because I have a clear picture in my mind that I’m still an artist even when I’m writing about me, and I’m making artistic choices accordingly, but I also know that writing about “me” invites the world to assume they have complete knowledge of me, past present and future. Or even ownership of me, as we see happen with famous writers all the time. It’s a double-edged sword like you say because, to hugely paraphrase Jonathan Franzen, writers pour their best selves into their books, and then the actual person is this shambolic and disappointing presence shuffling after.
#1 - When I started reading Liz’ work, I didn’t quite know if “Mel” was her alter ego/a literary technique, or actually someone else. Eventually I figured out it is you.
#2 - I had a weird idea a while ago - Book clubs… but for/with men. Think it could work?
#3 - Like with dating, you can’t roll out all of your crazy elements at one time. You have to doll it out in batches so that by post #100 you’ve put it all out there, but people somehow accept it because they have some understanding of you. (my conjecture)
#4 - Seems like I had another thought, but it now eludes me.
#5 - Oh yeah, wasting time is a huge fear. I feel I should be consolidating my creative efforts not expanding them.
Your husband, and I’m sure he’s great, misunderstands the point of writing. It’s not to sound nice, number one. It’s to be honest and tell the truth. If you’re not pissing someone off fairly regularly you’re probably not much of a writer.
You could make your own book club that reads the books that you want to read, if you feel so strongly about them being a requirement for you. Either that or you could just tell the other ladies how much you liked "Icebreaker".
Reading this, a memory surfaced of standing in a small circle of friends and acquaintances. I made what for me was a casual statement. A friend replied, “Nicole, I love that you say out loud what we’re all thinking.” My response to that was confusion. Was I not supposed to say that? What about it made it bold and/or daring? Why aren’t you all saying it out loud? Where is the handbook that you all seem to have on social etiquette and conversational mores? Of course I didn’t say any of that. The experience was a very common one. Instead, I’m pretty sure I just sighed, thought, “guessing at normal is so exhausting,” and went on with my life.
Absolutely you are allowed to comment, my love. Always. I love this memory and I up you some recent feedback I received that I'm "charmingly blunt." No wonder we're besties!
Your fears are all valid and I can relate. I have serious issues with being “me” on the page and fully committing to that. I’ve found that when I do, it’s usually with the notion that no one who knows me in real life will read it.
Having an audience is a doubled edged sword. I’m still not convinced Substack is the answer to…anything.
Sarlos, you’re supposed to say: NO! You’ve got it all wrong! Everything is totally, totally FINE HERE. :-)
I’m often torn because I have a clear picture in my mind that I’m still an artist even when I’m writing about me, and I’m making artistic choices accordingly, but I also know that writing about “me” invites the world to assume they have complete knowledge of me, past present and future. Or even ownership of me, as we see happen with famous writers all the time. It’s a double-edged sword like you say because, to hugely paraphrase Jonathan Franzen, writers pour their best selves into their books, and then the actual person is this shambolic and disappointing presence shuffling after.
Hello! My Thoughts:
#1 - When I started reading Liz’ work, I didn’t quite know if “Mel” was her alter ego/a literary technique, or actually someone else. Eventually I figured out it is you.
#2 - I had a weird idea a while ago - Book clubs… but for/with men. Think it could work?
#3 - Like with dating, you can’t roll out all of your crazy elements at one time. You have to doll it out in batches so that by post #100 you’ve put it all out there, but people somehow accept it because they have some understanding of you. (my conjecture)
#4 - Seems like I had another thought, but it now eludes me.
#5 - Oh yeah, wasting time is a huge fear. I feel I should be consolidating my creative efforts not expanding them.
#2 Books clubs for men!!! Yes, plz!
Your husband, and I’m sure he’s great, misunderstands the point of writing. It’s not to sound nice, number one. It’s to be honest and tell the truth. If you’re not pissing someone off fairly regularly you’re probably not much of a writer.
You could make your own book club that reads the books that you want to read, if you feel so strongly about them being a requirement for you. Either that or you could just tell the other ladies how much you liked "Icebreaker".
Am I allowed to comment?
Reading this, a memory surfaced of standing in a small circle of friends and acquaintances. I made what for me was a casual statement. A friend replied, “Nicole, I love that you say out loud what we’re all thinking.” My response to that was confusion. Was I not supposed to say that? What about it made it bold and/or daring? Why aren’t you all saying it out loud? Where is the handbook that you all seem to have on social etiquette and conversational mores? Of course I didn’t say any of that. The experience was a very common one. Instead, I’m pretty sure I just sighed, thought, “guessing at normal is so exhausting,” and went on with my life.
Absolutely you are allowed to comment, my love. Always. I love this memory and I up you some recent feedback I received that I'm "charmingly blunt." No wonder we're besties!